It's that time of year...

When kids leave for college.

I often reminisce back to late summer....1986...when my parents drove me to Dickinson College in Carlisle (PA) for the first time. I remember not being able to contain myself...the anticipation of being "away" from home...the possibility of meeting new people, spending time "finding my way"... ahhhh!

I have friends and family with children leaving for college. I am truly so excited for those that are going...it was by far, the most special time in my life. I still have good friends from that time. In fact, I'm currently trying to help out with the reception celebrating the 20th anniversary of my junior year in Italy with the 25 people I studied with and the professor and his wife that ran the program which is set to take place in NYC on 9/13. My college experience was stellar in every way.

I try not to think about it, but I can't help it. My kids won't have this special life changing experience.

Sure, now there are universities out there for the special needs community...where young adults can live semi-independently, learn life skills, work, etc....where I know I can send my kids.
It's not the same.
It's one of those things....why did I have such a special experience when I won't be able to share that and impart that to my own children?
I notice sometimes that my neighbors complain about the amount of homework their kids have and they claim how they can't help them because they can't remember the simple principles of elementary math...or how to diagram a sentence...or memorizing all 50 state capitals....and I cringe.
Don't they know how lucky they are to have children that can learn those things? Don't they know how crucial all that stuff is in life? I can still visually see in my mind the 1-12 times tables my 3rd grade teacher had on her black board for the 12 days we learned the times tables....I use that vision daily. I won the 5th grade state capital bee...granted, geography has fascinated me since my parents put me on a plane for the first time in 1970...and it's my thing even today.
My kids struggle to learn letters. numbers, phonics, social skills....you know, it's just not fair. I hate it sometimes.
Can you tell I've taken this week to review their IEPs (Individual Education Plan)? To review their goals and make sure all the details are correct.
Ben's reads like a dream...it's all about inclusion ("based upon parent input / request" - so that the district is off the hook should he fail) and goals are designed to make him successful in the mainstream..sitting him upfront, near natural light and away from distraction, prompting when needed, modifying his seat work....sensory input as needed....frequent breaks...
and then there's Matty's IEP....Matty who is going to private school...where there is no inclusion...all the children are special needs.
His IEP needs so much work...making eye contact is still a goal :-(....HELLO....my FX kid does NOT need to make eye contact with YOU...he'll do it when he's comfortable. He's not working towards that....his syndrome make that impossible, i.e., you'll write that his ability to make eye contact impedes his learning at our first progress report meeting. He looks at me...that's all that matters. WHATEVER.
I have sooo much work to do to try to get this fixed or at least documented in the next 2 weeks! I definitely have to call in some favors from the network of experts I've come to rely on over the past 10 years....it's going to be a long night!

Catching Up!

Wow! I hate when more than a week goes by and I don't blog :-(
So I've returned from the 11th International Fragile X Conference in St. Louis...which was hellish to get to, after a 9 hour wait in the airport, but after a short nap in the hotel from 4-7 am, Lisa and I were ready to go on Thursday morning!
The conference was full of great information, but I have to learn that I must arrive the day before it begins and leave after it ends....I definitely had NO time to hang with some people I wanted to hang with! I did meet fellow Fragile X Moms and Super Bloggers Erika and Kristie in person, which was a treat, albeit a brief one! Next time ladies, we'll lunch....maybe Detroit in 2010? How about end of July? MBL....shout out to you BELLA! When it's in your town, you'll show me around!
The conference itself is bittersweet. One part of me feels so empowered and motivated to raise awareness and care for my children. The other part is that brutal reality of it all, and their futures when I'm gone. Balance is the key I think....a fine tuning if you will of the pros and cons of raising children with any kind of special needs.
I will blog separately about this, but a film was shown called "Including Samuel" which was mind blowing in the sense that there are schools that "include" children in schools is every true sense of the word, which is rare. The documentary film was made by a father (Dan Habib) of a disabled child. Very powerful! This film should be a MUST for every Teacher, Principal, etc...where special children are included with typically developing peers.
More later....pictures too! I promise!
PS - My mom is doing much better, thanks to all who contacted me...she much less dizzy and re-gaining her strength back!