Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

I only have a couple of hours before the boys come home today ( there's NEVER school in this town!).

We're going to my parents for Thanksgiving, outside of Philadelphia. We pretty much go every year. It's a staple. I never pushed hard to make the move to my home for a holiday, so we usually drive somewhere. Even when Matty was a baby, we schlepped him constantly. And I love my home, and it's beautiful, spacious, and we have a new state of the art kitchen....I kept waiting for my mom to surrender Thanksgiving...but she didn't, so the kitchen in my home will be empty. She also asked me not to bring anything, though I offered.

That leads me to a bigger thing...I think my mom thinks I'm not capable of doing things. I know, that sounds harsh. She has told me on occasion that she "doesn't know how I do it"...husband, 2 kids, job, after school activities, all the running around.

That said, I think she still thinks that I'm 11 in some respect. I think that she feels like I can't/ won't do something the way she does it, so she'd rather I didn't do it.

For instance, I offered to being dessert. She said that she had already, to please not bring anything else. Now, I know that she knows that if I were to bring dessert, there would be chocolate involved....my boys love it, my husband loves it, and I love it. I know my dad likes it, as do my siblings. My mom doesn't eat it, as she claims that the caffeine in a morsel of chocolate can keep her up for days. So, she'll have a pumpkin pie, and an apple pie ( I don't eat either...neither do my kids) and that's it. If I promised to not bring chocolate, she still would protest, saying it's too much food. See where I'm going? There's her way...and that's pretty much it.

I love her, she's my mom, but she's pretty much the opposite of me, and I have had to come to terms with that. We'll go tomorrow....empty handed because that's how she wants it. One year, we ordered and sent a floral arrangement ahead of time for her to use as a centerpiece...it stayed in the kitchen, not the dining room. Wine comes home with us, un-opened usually. It's just the way it goes. What's funny is that on the rare occasion I have hosted a holiday...a few Christmas Eves and Days...not only does she offer to make some things....but I LET HER. It's a one way street though.

Ask her to do something for you? She's always agreeable...never protests. In fact, we're leaving the boys there Thanksgiving night since we have a 40th birthday party to attend Friday in NYC. She was more than thrilled to keep my children over night. She'll drive (60 miles) to my home....stay with my kids...cook dinner and go home. Really, she's amazing.

So, I'm thankful...to not have to cook (anything) for the Holiday. I'm thankful that my kids will have a great time, my husband and dad will watch hours of football (laptops in lap for fantasy football purposes).
I'm thankful for everything around me...Anthony, who is a great husband and father, great kids, beautiful life we're continually building around us. It's really all good here. Fragile X doesn't stop us, it's just gives us a sense of perspective.
I watch the news, and it's so depressing. I feel for those out of work, those in foreclosure, those that can't pay their bills. I credit my husband, though the $$$ we've lost in the market in 2008 would have been nice, we don't need it to live. He keeps us on a budget and watches the numbers so closely....I could never do it...I'm too much of a spender....which he lets me do..and reigns me in when I need it. I appreciate him and think the only reason we're OK in this economy is because of all the sacrifice we've made over the last 15 years, the living within our means, and that's all because of Anthony.
Sorry for such a multi-tangent post....I guess I have a LOT on my mind.....
Thanks for listening!
Happy Thanksgiving!!!

5 comments:

Aim said...

maybe your mom still wants to take care of you?? Have a great holiday weekend. Christmas is going to sneak up and get us here very soon. :-)

Anonymous said...

as a mom to daughters...i worry that I'm going to be like that. I don't think they will be able to do it either and it'll be hard for me to not be in the middle of their stuff. My mom treats me like that though so maybe it won't be too hard since I'm also on the receiving end. Enjoy your party and don't worry about the market :)

Anonymous said...

Perhaps next time you can "not" ask and simply bring a chocolate pie, like the unopened wine, you can go into the kitchen and pout yourself a glass, she doesn;t have to drink wine or eat chocolate, but you can still enjoy it, and if you don;t ask, your not going against her wishes... Just a thought.

I worry that I too however will turn out like that because i am a control freak.

KC said...

P, you and I are a like. My mom is similiar to yours, but differently. She'd "let" me cook the turkey, but tell me the whole time HOW to do it. IE this Thanksgiving. My way on everything just wasn't the right way. I just get to the point, where I pick and choose my battles, and this one just doesn't mean that much to me. Know what I mean? Its confusing and frustrating at the same time.

Just think when you host Christmas, tell her she can NOT bring any of the 7 fishes ;)~

Happy Thanksgiving! and we'll catch up this week.

((HUGS))

Jesica said...

This blog is really neat. You are an amazing woman.

All the best,
Jesica in IL
Adoptive FX mom...yeah I am not nuts
Andrew 9 FX
Ethan 5 no FX