You know, sometimes I have a hard time being grateful.
Yes, my life is very blessed.
But.....
Sometimes I think I look at Holidays different than some people. Don't get me wrong, I love a Holiday. It's just that for some reason, it's those times of year that it really resonates that my children, well, their not regular children.
I want to be grateful, really I do. For example, I had the luxury of working from home today ( OK, I do that 3 out of 4 workdays a week), my kids had half a day, we had lunch together, hung out together this afternoon playing the Wii. No cooking here, we travel instead for Grandma and Grandpa's house.
My husband (bless his soul) called to say he'd be home in time to take M to his orthodontist appointment, so I wouldn't have to do that. He comes home and takes BOTH kids with him, so that I can relax. OMG....that's a gift in an of itself!
So, as you can see, my life, is charming...for the most part.
It's just that Holidays make it more obvious that my children are different. It's almost heartbreaking ( for me) to celebrate Christmas. It's not that they don't enjoy it, they do. Their excitement is almost contagious! I think that for me, it's a reminder of the things that won't ever be "normal."
I think for Christmas, I'm going to try to give myself the gift of "being OK with how things turned out" and to not wallow in self-pity.
Happy Turkey!
3 comments:
Happy Thanksgiving. Very nicely written and it certainly hits home with me. I was having the same thoughts last week when my two oldest fx kids age 11 and 13 waited to sit on Santa's lap. They were the oldest, biggest and most excited kids in line! I joke that Jacob and Sophia will still be wanting to sit on Santa's lap when they are adults. There is something so beautiful about that thought and also a dose of reality that things aren't "normal." I'll take "not so normal." Thanks for your words
It all depends what you consider "normal"... I think everybody is different in their own way, and they are happy "in their own way". I am thankful that our fragile x boy has given us a different insight of what is really important in life. Who cares if they sit in Santa's lap at
l2 or 13, I would like to sit in Santa's lap at 60 plus... we just need to enjoy our kids for what they are, nothing more and nothing else. Have a great Thanksgiving and let the peace of the Lord be with all of you, my x friends
Paula, I just joined the webring today and discovered your blog there. I can so appreciate your thoughts about the holidays. Been there and done that. I loved your honesty, and I love that we are all surrounding ourselves with others who get how we feel. We are blessed, but that doesn't mean we don't have bad moments that we need to talk about. Thanks for sharing.
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